January 24, 2002
Baby Love
I read an article out of a magazine entitled “Baby Love” about a three months after Ellie, my first child, was born. This was an article that stirred my emotions, kindled a flame in my soul, brought tears to my eyes, and all the other frequently used cliches that do little to truly explain our inner most feelings.
I hadn’t realized that I was “baby hungry” until I had given birth to Ellie and read that article. It expressed so clearly what I was feeling. My husband and I had decided to try and conceive because frankly I was getting old. I had no “burning desire” to have a child, even though I wanted children and knew that I would have several.
My main reason for getting pregnant was because of my age: 24 years old! I know that isn’t old but by my age my mother had given birth to three children and a fourth was soon to be on the way. We wanted several kids and also a good, early retirement; we needed to get busy.
To have a baby is an amazing feeling. It is one of accomplishment, shock and disbelief. Men should really be given the chance to experience this miracle first hand someday. The actual feeling of having a baby whoosh out of you with the warmth of the liquid is something difficult to explain. To see that your baby is healthy and whole and to hear her first cry and to feel her sucks at your breast completes the miracle of the actual birthing experience.
Getting to know each other is the truly difficult part. Making the adjustment is strange. Even though this child has been growing inside of you over the last 40 weeks and you’ve felt her kicks and movements and heard her heart beat, you are still strangers.
You are both new at this. What do her cries mean? How do I feed her? Why won’t she go to sleep! But soon it all seems natural—it is natural. It is as if you were never apart.
You were together once as dear friends in the heavens. You are each a daughter of God and beloved of Him. You were a spiritual family, now an earthly family and soon will be an eternal family.
Such trust and love come from her eyes. Will I keep the promises I made before we both embarked on this journey here on earth? Will I teach her of Jesus, his teachings and resurrection, and of love and life eternal?
I cried when I could not feed my baby milk from my breasts. “All I want is to feed my baby!” I cried out in anger at God. But softly came the reply, “Be at peace, my daughter. More important than your milk is your love. Teach her to feast on the words of Christ for then she will never hunger nor thirst.”
Baby love and baby hungry have taken on new meanings for me now: “Teach me to walk in the light of his love.”
